I have a friend who is full of fun one-liners. Often he will say, “Attention! Attention, everyone!” I turn around quickly to hear his important announcement and he declares, “Thank you. I just love attention.” I fall for his joke every single time.
But isn’t it so true that we all love attention? Valentine’s Day is just a couple weeks away and wouldn’t it be awesome to feel more connected to those we love on this sweet holiday and every day? Today, I’m going to give you one simple secret that will change your relationships forever whether you practice it at the grocery store, church or with your own family.
Attention! Attention! Here’s how you can love people better. Whether you’ve just met or have known one another for years, this is the best way to connect.
Connect With One Person At a Time
Simply focusing on one person at a time will change your relationships forever. If you think back to the last group event you attended, how special and heard did you feel in the group setting? You may have felt a bit lost, overwhelmed, or unimportant. Perhaps, you even felt like you could leave the room and no one would’ve even missed you?
Now, consider the last time someone stopped to have an actual conversation with you. You know, one on one. I’m not talking about the five second chat where someone asks how you are, you answer and they walk away after closing with “Well, it was nice to see you.” I’m talking about the kind where they take the time to hear about how you are really doing and share how they are doing. I’m talking about the person who truly cares how you are and invests in your friendship through commitment, touch, spending time with you, and eye contact.
There is value in being in a group setting. Teamwork is essential to our growth and we can learn who we do and do not want to be by watching people operate in a group setting. But one on one time is how we truly connect with others – every single time.
I sat in group settings for years while feeling like the fifth wheel. Then, one day I realized the people who took the time to get to know me one on one were onto something special I hadn’t learned yet. They got to know the real me. They validated my love for writing, my secret dream of being a comedian, and even told me I could be a hand model. Once I learned what they were doing that made me feel so special, I couldn’t help but pass it on.
The more you connect with people one on one, the less alone you feel in a group setting and, honestly, this short, little introvert finally broke out of her shell of insecurity simply by loving others better through one on one lunch dates, chats, shared tears, and inside jokes. The wonderful symptom of being better-connected one on one, is that groups will thrive better because of it. When everyone knows they are valued, the group becomes more positive and is and accomplishes more.
So, “Attention! Attention! Please give one on one attention this Valentine’s Day.” And then take a little break to recuperate your introvert side and start all over again next week, loving one person at a time with your full attention.